Reconnecting To Your Community Through Empathy

Why is it that, in a world so ‘connected’ through Facebook discussions, Zoom meetings and Youtube streaming events, many of us feel more disconnected from our fellow human beings than ever? 

Why do we feel politically, ideologically, spiritually disengaged from people not only in the wider world but those who live in our own neighbourhoods — sometimes even in our own homes?

The answer seems infinitely complex. Psychologists, sociologists and health workers trace loss of connection and community to a staggering number of causes: trauma, drug use, excessive media use, gaming, pornography, alcoholism, obesity, urbanization, estrangement from Nature, estrangement from one’s own body… Even the social media that keeps us up to date with far-flung relatives and friends seems to conspire against true connection with them.

We at emPoweredlives believe a key skill holds enormous promise in reconnecting us to other people and to the world: empathy. When we feel most disconnected and overwhelmed, we desperately require empathy, either from our existing network of social support or from just one individual who can truly, authentically hear what we have to say.

The renowned American researcher and author Brené Brown writes extensively about the power of empathy — not only about our desperate need to receive it, but also the grace of giving it. Brown discovered over a decade of intensive research that empathy is a “sacred space” where two people come together to connect (RSA).

To be clear: empathy is best practiced as a two-way street. Brown suggests that not just being heard, but actively listening with empathy, means connecting to another person by coming to their level. 

“When someone’s in a deep hole and they shout out from the bottom, ‘I’m stuck, it’s dark, I’m overwhelmed.’ And we look and we say, ‘Hey,’ and we climb down, and we say, ‘I know what it’s like down here. And you’re not alone.’”

Yet this act of connective empathy can feel risky, because it often means recalling your own painful experiences and emotions. 

“Empathy is a choice, and it’s a vulnerable choice,” she says. “In order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling. Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.” 

emPoweredlives know the value of empathy and true connection in our lives and work: it is in the connection between people, the sharing of emotional truths, and caring for others. These three Cs — connection, compassion and caring — are the foundation of our practice, and the key to reconnecting a broken world.

Kerry McArthur, Senior Content Editor at emPoweredlives.

References

• RSA. (2013, December 10). Brené Brown on Empathy [Video]. https://brenebrown.com/videos/rsa-short-empathy/.

Lynn Hiscoe is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and a Registered Social Worker providing support and therapy to individuals, families, professionals, workplaces and organizations.