Connection

“Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of you are not alone." —Brené Brown

I became a grandmother again just a few weeks ago. He is perfect. I feel so blessed that my daughter and my grandson are healthy and thriving. I do understand how fortunate we are. Having lost my  mom this year, we know the importance of family, love and time together.

I have known the value of connection in my own life and in my work for many years. Often our end-of-session evaluations for group programs focus on the value of sharing with others who suffer or experience life’s challenges in similar ways. 

Connection is what has been behind the success of Alcoholics Anonymous, Weight Watchers, and many religious organizations. It is in the connection, sharing, and caring of others that gives our life meaning.

However, research suggests that we are lonelier than ever, and that loneliness has a real negative impact on our mental health. In the UK there are state programs (ministries) that focus solely on supporting people who are lonely by having a call system to reach out to people who are living on their own. Connection to pets is known to have a positive effect on our emotional health.

When I conduct assessments on my clients we look at support systems. Especially important for children. We draw a map and include all those they identify as important in their life.

We want to know who is in your life to support you. Who you can rely on when times are tough. Support systems are what we call protective factors in one’s emotional well-being.

In our 1-1 work and in our group work sometimes the focus is on this one critical area. Building a sustainable support system is critical to our well-being. It is one of the most important elements of an Empowered Life. I’ve called this one of our emotional nutrients.

Relationships are crucial to our well-being, but they are hard work. I know that they are worth the investment. I personally love to spend time doing activities with friends and family, experiencing life together, especially through the tough times. We need each other to grow, heal and thrive.

As a young social worker living in a very rural community in BC ( a cross culture of both logging and those living in communes),  I was working with families running parenting programs. When I think back to those parents who must have been really annoyed at me. My  22 year old (what the heck does she know) self. My boss called me “green but keen”. I was invested in helping these families and I came up with an exercise that I still use to this day for couples, kids, and individuals.

Family Activity Jar

1. Take a blank piece of paper and cut it into 5 pieces. 
2. Right down on each piece of paper what you would like to do as an activity with the person you are in a relationship with. 
3. Include as many family members or friends you want to.
4. If it is you and your daughter, then you both write down 5 activities. If it is a family of 4 then you all write 5 activities. 
5. Put a price limit of $5 or $20 for the activity. 
6. Then fold up all the activities and put them in a jar
7. Pull one out once per week (on a day you decide to be your activity day)
8. Go and have fun, connect and live your life!

In August I am opening the doors to my 90 Day Design for Life. This is not group coaching. This is therapeutic coaching using proven therapies like CBT and DBT. This is not a typical program; it is 25 years of experience in clinical work laid out in 12 weeks. Find out more by clicking the image below!

Hear from those who have worked with my in my programs:

"Throughout the course we were given activities, short but thought provoking, and then asked to share it with the other group members in the next class. Listening to each other's comments we worked together as a group to encourage each other, to tell our own stories, we brainstormed to help others, and it was all done in a safe, respected environment. We developed a bond, because we were all in this together and trying to help each other move on. The mental health aspects were quite new to me and Lynn presented them well! She is incredibly competent and her expertise is amazing. I know it helped me to delve into thoughts I hadn't known how to tackle before. I consider myself a very practical person and the area of self confidence a blurred one. Lynn gave us techniques and questions that made those grey areas easier to handle."